Some Muffin Top Bravado

You know what? I freaking love my muffin top. And I don’t mean that in some passive-aggressive defeatist way because dieting doesn’t work for me. The truth is, I have never cared much about my weight because my weight has simply never been much of an issue.

I had kids. I got fat. I got love handles. I got chubby. I got a muffin top. Then I went on a diet and I lost most of it – 25 pounds of it. But not all of it. My muffin top remains, sometimes sitting on top of my pants like a weird hat. Sometimes my muffin top doubles as a seat for my infant while I am holding him with one arm so that I can vacuum the floors. My muffin top fills out my Mom Uniform.

I strut around my house feeling like Wonder Woman because I hold down the fort with gusto and glory. I keep this place clean. I keep my family well fed. I scare away closet monsters at night. I sooth hurt feelings. I tell a wicked knock knock joke. I keep the wood stove burning all winter long. I keep the laundry going. I keep the peace. I keep the order of this home and I make sure that everyone here is healthy and loved.

And do you know what? Nowhere in this brief version of my job description as SAHM does it mention anything about having no belly fat. Muffin tops are virtually required for this Mom business (no offense to you skinny mini’s out there.)

Do you know why a muffin top is a stupid thing to shame women over? Because having a layer of fat over a mid section is in no way an indication of the quality of the person who carries it. It is more an indictment of stupidity and insensitivity because the insults and the ridiculous body beauty standards do not account for the things that matter most like compassion, bravery, courage…remembering to put the laundry in the dryer so it doesn’t accidently get washed again…the list goes on.

Motherhood is already enough of a pressure-cooker. It is foolish and juvenile to toss unwanted and hurtful – and frankly, boring – body size demands on women, especially the women who bring life into the world. There is a reason nature builds women to have hips, extra fat, round breasts, and the ability to live on 3 hours of sleep. It is all about keeping the baby fed, warm, alive, and loved.

So, with all of that said, I present to you an AWESOME video that brings the love and much respect to the Momma Muffin Top.

sarah cottrell

About sarah cottrell

Sarah Cottrell is a member of the SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) Club and proud herder of two youngsters. When she is not Mom*ing it up, Sarah is a freelance writer and editor. She is currently writing her first book, a satirical parenting manual.