Good Morning, Sunshine

pillow

4:32 AM
Loud Child: Mom, I have tuh pee!
Mom: Uh huh…go ahead…I’m listening…hurry up and come back…*groan*
Loud Child: Mom, can I have some PBS and some juice?
Mom: For the love of all things, child, go back to bed!
Loud Child: (stomps into bedroom)

5:03 AM
Loud Child: (CRASH!)
Mom: (opens only one eye…listens for crying…hears none…shuts eye)

5:04 AM
Loud Child: MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
Mom: What are you doing in there?!
Loud Child: I JUST INVENTED A NEW WAY TO FLY AND I NEED YOU TO GO GET THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND SOME JUICE SO I CAN HAVE ENERGY TO TRY THIS THING OUT!
Mom: (bleeping bleep bleep can’t get sleep around here bleep) Honey, please quiet DOWN!
Loud Child:  Ugh…OK FINE!

6:22 AM
Loud Child: (CRASH!)
Mom: (to husband) This is all your fault.
Husband: What on earth is that supposed to mean?
Mom: You wouldn’t let me sell him to the circus.

6:31 AM
Loud Child: MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
Mom: Alright! I’m awake!
Loud Child: WILL YOU COME TUCK ME IN?
Mom: (you’ve got to be bleeping kidding me) Yes, dear…I’m coming.

6:47 AM
Coffee Maker: DING!
Mom: sigh…

Sarah Cottrell

About Sarah Cottrell

Maine-based writer Sarah Cottrell is the voice behind Housewife Plus at the Bangor Daily News and is a regular contributor to Disney’s Babble and Momtastic. She is a co-author in six books including I Still Just Want To Pee Alone from the New York Times Bestselling series. Sarah’s work has also been highlighted and featured by SELF Magazine, National Public Radio, Washington Post, and VICE Tonic.