I have a ridiculously smart 4YO. I’m not bragging here, he out wits me at least 18 times a day, folks. This clever child of mine can figure out almost anything. Mom and dad are spelling secrets to each other? Guess what?! He suddenly knows how to spell B-E-D-T-I-M-E and C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E. You lied and said PBS was broken for the day? Well, it turns out the kid knows how to use a remote control. Who knew?! Child safety locks? Pfft!
For all of my child’s astounding mental talents here is where he has totally flopped: the kid cannot decide what the heck he wants to be for Halloween. Don’t believe me? Here is a small sampling of the answers he gives to the question, “Hey! What do you want to be for Halloween?!”
A cheetah but only if I can run 76 miles an hour
A garbage can so I can play with Oscar the Grouch
A vampire…no wait
A vampire pretending to be a cheetah…no wait
A cheetah vampire with a sword who can fly.
Listen, kid. We have been to three stores looking for costumes and you have found every conceivable reason to not choose any of the options presented to you. In fact, your idea of what a costume should include defies physics, reason, and in some cases even imagination.
So here is what I am going to do. I am going to give you a cardboard box, a set of magic markers, 15 miles of duct tape, some string, and my ability to use Pinterest and we are going to sit here at the dinging room table and make a costume together.
In the interest of time I have preselected a cardboard robot, a cardboard bi-plane, a cardboard dinosaur, and a cardboard lion that I am pretty sure I can sell as a vampire cheetah with a sword that can fly.
What are you going to be for Halloween?