The solitary mom club

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solitary_momIn late 2014 I started blogging about being a stay at home mom. Not because I had some secret to success or a treasure trove of pin worthy tips to share, but because I was drowning in the deafening tediousness of motherhood. Where were all the other moms? Surely there had to be a community of women like me that I could network with and – fingers crossed – carve out a small social life, right?

A year later I still find myself having solo conversations in my head about cleaning, errands, solving kiddo problems and all with nary a friend across from me at the kitchen table with whom I can converse with.

It is tough meeting new friends when there isn’t a common obligation like work or church or school to help put bodies in the same room together. So for 2015 I made it a personal goal to start something that would lead to building a new little community.

Right in my own backyard – ok two yards over, actually – lives a young family just like mine. The mom and I started chatting about toddler meltdowns and potty training. We found each other on social media and started sharing pictures and stories online too. Other moms chimed in. Granted, these other moms do not live close enough by to join us for coffee, but they have an Internet connection and a willingness to listen and give advice.

Without really meaning to we started a weekly playgroup for our kids. Each week we get together and watch our kids fight and play in the way that little people often do. While right now it is just two families we hope that by spring we can have more moms plus kids join our little group.

I have visions of future girls nights (sans children and husbands) dancing in my head. I have ideas for summer BBQ’s. I am crossing my fingers that my neighbor likes wine as much as I do. Or that she appreciates the same irreverent parent humor that makes me laugh. Will she be horrified by my children’s occasionally wild behavior or will her kids do crazy things too?

I don’t know. But I’m excited to find out…

Here is to 2015 being the year I figure out how to make real time friends.

Sarah Cottrell

About Sarah Cottrell

Maine-based writer Sarah Cottrell is the voice behind Housewife Plus at the Bangor Daily News and is a regular contributor to Disney’s Babble and Momtastic. She is a co-author in six books including I Still Just Want To Pee Alone from the New York Times Bestselling series. Sarah’s work has also been highlighted and featured by SELF Magazine, National Public Radio, Washington Post, and VICE Tonic.