Do people actually like square dancing?

square dancing

At the risk of making enemies with anyone over 80, I just have to say it: square dancing is lame.

Although square dancing has its roots in the 17th century England and France when the genteel classes politely toe-tapped and spun in unison, it has since morphed into a highly stylized folk dance that brings to mind a romanticized view of the American West. And cowboys.

After a brief resurgence of American folk music in the 1950’s, gym teachers everywhere muckled onto the square dance as a way to make middle schoolers suffer.

I can still remember the awkward hand holding and the groans of prepubescent boys having to spin reluctant tween girls around before our gym teacher, Mrs. K, would scream out “DO SI DO!” into her bullhorn. The promenade, that weird pretzel arm hold, made everyone want to just die of embarrassment.

Cowboys be damned.

The folk music that accompanies square dancing is absolutely delightful and never fails to make me want to stomp my feet and slap my knees. Just not in a square with three other couples all trying to figure out what how to Tag The Line before giving it their all to do an Alamo Wave.

Nope. I’ll just enjoy the fiddle music and cold beer without all the crazy costumes and awkwardness.