These are the official directions to get to the Frankfort Quarry

EDITED TO ADD: This post is intended as humor and not to be taken literally. If you are easily offended by satirical humor then please don’t keep reading. Thanks!

You have to be coming from Bangor because that’s really the only way I know how to get there.

  1. Find Route 1 and drive until you go around that sharp corner on the left where the scary-ass house is (the one that I am shocked people don’t literally drive into.)
  2. Keep going until you smell the stink of low-tide coming from the left side of the road.
  3. Somewhere on the right is a road sign, I think it says Mt. Waldo. Turn right there.
  4. Drive up the steep hill. Make sure your car isn’t a beater, it might not make it.
  5. When you start to see some sketchy cars parked then pull over.
  6. Lock down your stuff, exit the car, and start climbing up the quarry blocks.
  7. Don’t step on all the broken beer bottle glass.
  8. Ignore the burning mattress in the woods (I’m not even kidding…I saw this twice.)
  9. Climb all the way to the top.
  10. Once there, choose a spot to throw your towel that doesn’t have broken glass.
  11. Eye up the water. Note where that janky-as-hell looking rusty crane is sitting just below the water. Ask yourself when was the last time you had a tetanus shot.
  12. Take some selfies with the bad 90’s graffiti art in the background. Jump off a lower level cliff.