Hottest Maine bachelor with good teeth seeks wife in Aroostook

Sorry, ladies, you missed your chance by about 152 years. Submitted to a subreddit about a month ago, this singles ad penned by an Aroostook man in 1865 has stirred up a lot of hilarious responses because as we all know, the search for love is always a rough game to be in.

The ad reads:

“CHANCE FOR A SPINSTER: A young man in Aroostook County, Maine, advertising for a wife, speaks of himself as follows: “I am eighteen years old, have a good set of teeth, and believe in Andy Johnson, the star-spangled banner, and the 4th of July. I have taken up a State lot, cleared up eighteen acres last year, and seeded ten of it down. My buckwheat looks first-rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully. I have got nine-sheep, a two-year-old bull, and two heifers, besides a house and a barn. I want to buy bread-and-butter, hoop skirts, and waterfalls for some person of the female persuasion during life. That’s what’s the matter with me. But I don’t know how to do it.”

My feminist hackles would be standing up if this ad were modern, but considering this was what Tinder looked like in 1865, I can let it slide. The guy sounds kind of sweet and man, at 18 he had his life together. What spinster wouldn’t be wooed by that?

Some of the ad was a bit confusing to me so I had to do some researching. Apparently, a waterfall was a hair clip with faux hair for ladies. Andy Johnson was Andrew Johnson, Vice President under Abraham Lincoln and we all know what happened there. Bully was how folks in 1865 said ‘awesome’.

If you get a chance, you should read the comments section under the ad in the subreddit group. Not only is it hilariously inappropriate, but the users went out of their way to track down this guy to find out if he ever got a wife.

I won’t spoil it for you.