Dear mom, you were right

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Every Monday I host a guest blogger in my House Guest series. It is a great chance to introduce new writers to you and also a great chance for me to learn more about the nuances of blogging. On occasion I will get lucky to be invited to guest on another blogger’s site! Recently I had the distinct honor of guest posting for one my favorite humor writers, Marcia Kester Doyle of Menopausal Mother blog.

In case you missed that post, here is is with some minor changes (to clean up the language!) If you’d like to view the original post (with the fun sentence enhancers) you can check that out here.


Dear Mom,

I remember clearly the day I sassed you so hard that you looked me square in the eye and said, “I hope you have a child exactly like you someday.” I laughed and shrugged it off. It made no sense. Didn’t you mean that you wanted to ground me for eternity? Or didn’t you mean that you wanted to take away my MTV?

It took nearly 20 years before the zing of that admission rang some truth. And holy hell, Mom…why would you curse me like that!?

It is a hard pill to swallow but I must admit that you were right.

You were right that it is possible to simultaneously love and dislike your own child in a single moment of time.

You were right that scraped knees and banged up elbows are sometimes harder for the Mom than for the kid to deal with.

You were right that there is nothing hiding under the bed. I know. I just checked.

You were right that no matter what, kids would always behave better for darn near anyone other than Mom.

You were right that I would never sleep a full night sleep again. Not because the children keep me up but because my brain can’t quit.

You were right that I would still sneak into my son’s room and stare at his chest to make sure he is breathing. Even at five years old.

You were right that kids shouldn’t eat candy after 3pm. Ever.

You were right that kids would change marriage in profoundly difficult ways.

You were right that my teenage brat pack friends, Tiffany, Ashley, and Jessica would turn out to be tyrants. And I will probably warn my sons about problematic friendships too.

You were right that Mom pants are goddamn comfortable.

You were right that nothing brings out aggressive, over protective, don’t-mess-with-me reactions like rushing a sick or injured child to the hospital.

You were right that 7:00 pm is not too early to want to go to bed.

You were right that vegetables wouldn’t kill me.

You were right that spills can be cleaned, hair grows back, heartache heals, but tattoos are forever.

You were right that inner beauty is more important than outwardly appearance. But damn those Doc Martens were cool.

You were right that days would never end while the years would slip by hardly noticed.

You were right that a station wagon is not the death of freedom.

You were right that motherhood is the easiest/hardest most over/underrated job there is.

You were right that I would someday realize that although I try my best I have no idea what I am doing.

You were right that there is no greater love than that between a parent and a child. Even though there was a time when I was sure I would die for a certain rock star or author. But nope. Doesn’t even compare!

Now before I get all crazy with emotional tender hearted stuff here let me point out that there was a whole lot of stuff you were totally wrong about (TV did not rot my brain!) But you did a pretty damn good job. And while I will never admit this out loud, I do steal mom tips from your playbook all of the time. And sometimes, if I listen hard enough, I can hear your words echoing in my own mom lectures.

Now I Know It All

Sarah Cottrell

About Sarah Cottrell

Maine-based writer Sarah Cottrell is the voice behind Housewife Plus at the Bangor Daily News and is a regular contributor to Disney’s Babble and Momtastic. She is a co-author in six books including I Still Just Want To Pee Alone from the New York Times Bestselling series. Sarah’s work has also been highlighted and featured by SELF Magazine, National Public Radio, Washington Post, and VICE Tonic.