Thinking about not vaccinating your kids? Here are 16 better ways to endanger them

Not vaccinating your kids is dumb. And dangerous. So dangerous, in fact, that I would rather let my kids do the following things before I’d let them go without their immunizations.

  1. Jump into the Frankfort Quarry
  2. Track a bear while wearing a suit of chocolate donuts and bacon grease
  3. Play a fun round of Edward 40 Hands
  4. Shoot off discount clearance fireworks
  5. Play with a rabid raccoon
  6. Listen to Nickleback
  7. Touch a live wire “No line is safe to touch, evah!”
  8. Eat clams from a red tide
  9. Run through a tick infested field
  10. Pick a bouquet of hog weed
  11. Shoot rats at the local dump
  12. Shoot each other with BB guns
  13. Play drunken lawn darts
  14. Play Five Finger Fillet
  15. Drag race with lawn mowers
  16. Shake hands with an unvaccinated person

Not having your kids immunized against dangerous diseases that kill people is irresponsible and misguided at best. Unless you are one of the exceedingly rare cases in which the vaccine itself causes horrific allergic reaction then you have no argument for putting my kids and our communities in harm’s way.

Get the damn vaccines, people.